In Oakland, you don’t have to time travel to the ’90s to speed date. Just ask Gen Z

Alex Valle did not expect date night to begin blindfolded and on a stage. She sat across a divider from a potential match, a man who introduced himself as “Dennis,” as a lively audience listened to them banter. 

The experience was “exciting and abnormal,” Valle reported after removing her blindfold, and also short-lived — lasting just five minutes. But that was the plan. Each dater had a dozen or so other meetups scheduled for later that night. 

As young people across the U.S. move away from dating apps — only a quarter of Gen Z uses them, compared with more than half of millennials — the monotony of swiping left, right, and leaving conversations up to their fingertips is giving way to “in real life” events like run clubs and speed dates. 

This summer, Eventbrite reported a 49% increase in attendance at in-person dating events from the year before. 

“A Thing to Talk About,” hosted each month at Oakland’s Elbo Room, revives the 90s-era speed-dating trend with a twist, asking select participants to turn quick encounters into an on-stage performance. 

Wid Jean-Mary founded “A Thing to Talk About” as a nonprofit in 2023, initially to host game nights, comedy shows, and live music. A nurse who works across the state, he had long heard from his patients about how hard it is to make friends and find a partner.

For speed dating events, Jean-Mary’s priority remains to make people feel comfortable. “It’s not intended for romance. It’s about going out in a nice environment to meet someone new,” he said. (Though if romance comes calling, that’s fine, too.)

Earlier this month, the event kicked off with a blind-dating show, challenging people to get to know each other before judging appearances. Then, 15 participants, aged 25 to 53, rotated from one table to the next, spending five minutes talking to each person in the room.

For attendee Julian Woodyard, the pace added excitement to the conversations during his first-ever speed dating event. The speed forced him to let down his guard and try not to worry about what other people thought. 

“When you only have three to five minutes to make a good first impression, it makes you nervous but also kind of excited to jump into the water,” Woodyard said.

The other draw? Novelty. Frances Henderson said the speed dating experience was an item to check off her “bucket list.” 

“It was an opportunity that presented itself and I figured, why not, ” she said. “If it doesn’t go well, it’s a memory for me to have.”

In the end, the spark of romance did not flame. But Henderson left with something else, a budding friendship with Valle, whom she met when they were both pulled on stage for dates with Dennis.

“There’s not too many people you meet with great energy in real life,” Valle said. “To be able to meet someone and feel like a spark was made … it was really interesting.” 

“A Thing to Talk About” will be hosting its second speed-dating event at the Elbo Room at 6:30 p.m. Saturday  in Jack London Square. Tickets for daters start at $18 on Eventbrite, and $10 for audience members for the live dating show. 

“A Thing to Talk About” divides its tickets into male and female slots, but speed dating events of all kinds take place across the Bay Area most weeks. An LGBTQ speed-dating events is scheduled at High 5ive Rooftop Bar in Oakland on Thursday, Nov. 14.

Oakland artists go brush to brush, raising money for mural project in Kenya